There really is no excuse for my lameness and all I can say is that short of a computer meltdown (or economic collapse), it won't happen again. In order to make up for my incompetence the next round of drinks is on me...charge it to underhill.
QUICK UPDATES-NIECE
During my brief hectic amazing trip back to the US I finally got to meet my god-daughter and niece. Those of you who are amateur uncle's out there might be thinking "but Daniel, what are the benefits of having such a child in your life, other than the obvious Marlon Brandow impersonations?" Well my gentle friends the answer is simple yet inexplicable: your life is better. I have no idea how or why, but it is. Joys and connections that I've never really felt before all rush into my thoughts and emotions, and this was before even meeting the little one. Other side benefits include: getting all the fun time without diaper duty, a quick reminder that I am far too irresponsible to have one of my own, and getting to see what curse words I'll teach her when she's older (and in what language!)
She's gonna be a socca playa!
QUICK UPDATES- WEDDING
Another reason I came back to the good ole US of A was that a great friend of mine, Jimmy Loughran, was getting married. This was a really tough decision for me as I am missing seven, count 'em, seven weddings this year on the whole. Although all of them are meaningful and I regret not being able to go to all of them, this one really just seemed to work out. Seeing as it was during both my University and Work vacation and I was a groomsman, I really had no excuse not to go. The whole weekend was amazing as I got to reacquaint with many friends while watching one of my closest get married. The wedding was lovely and the bride, Amy, was glowing. Oh yeah, and debauchery ensued. I can't remember everything about the night but am pretty sure I won a dance contest (and may have pulled a muscle doing so), the groom took over the role as bartender (without permission) at a now closed bar (wonder why) and Schambach- another member of the wedding party- may have revealed his true redneck self as he set the record in Big Buck Hunter. Words don't do it justice, but pictures just may! Be sure to check out my picture link, but here's a little sample:
I shit you not I picked this up off the professional photographer's website, and he's a good one too. I'm assuming he posted it because: a) he has a good sense of humor, b) he loves good beer, or c) he knows that this is what being a groomsman is really all about. I get a kick out of the fact that soon-to-be brides will check out this site and see me hand feeding jimmy precious fat tire beer as his bride looks on in amusement (Jimmy, that's how you know she's a keeper).
QUICK UPDATE- LOCKS O'LOVE
I guess I wasn't clear enough when growing my hair as many did not realize I would be donating it to this oh so noteworthy cause. It certainly wasn't because I wanted to be called fabio, blond jesus, insert girls name here, el rubio, or many other ridiculous things. After two solid years my hair made it to twelve inches long, meaning I had enough to get a ten inch pony to donate to those in need. If you're unfamiliar with the cause, google it as it's a good one. In the mean time, enjoy the before and afters:
BEFORE:
Ok, so I look like one of Hans Gruber's henchmen from the early 90's action classic Die Hard, but I had just gotten off 24 hours of travel and it was a surprise shot so cut me some slack!
AFTER:
The stylist was a bit befuddled when I had no idea as to what "style" I sported, other than "I cut it myself," but she done good and the hair got donated.
SPECIAL THANKS TO: Carolyn Taylor, an amazing stylist in Austin Texas who maintained my mane throughout the two years.
Melinda Hanzel, for taking care of all the arrangements of my final hair appointment since I was out of the country
DANIEL OWENS, CHILD ABUSER
Go ahead, read it again. Let me start this one off with just a few tidbits of information, the first being that I have never, nor will ever raise a hand to any student for any form of discipline. To follow that up, I would like to tell you how I was called into my directors'(there's two) office this past friday to have "a talk." During this talk, the words "child abuse," "abuse of power," and "the children thought you were going to hit them" all came up. What sort of reckless behavior could warrant such a brash reaction you ask? Has Daniel finally lost it? Flipped and gone postal on some unsuspecting and innocent argentine children. Well my unsuspecting audience, let me fill you in on the dirty deed: I made the children put their heads down on their desk. That's right, after thirty minutes of unmanageable behavior and zero learning I had the children put their heads down on their desk to calm down before writing an apology letter.
I'm sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself here. Few of you probably knew that I was working at a local argentine middle school that I am yet to describe. Although I fully intend to recount various tales to you in later entries, for now let's just say that this school makes Montessori look like Leavenworth and the the mere utterance of the word discipline sends shutters down the parents' spine of every child who has no concept of right or wrong. It's also worth mentioning that my two school director's are complete idiots, but that would really be underselling it. The dumber one, who's IQ score is further left than Ralph Nader, was actually the one that dropped the "the children thought you were going to hit them" line. When twidle-dee saw the reaction on my face and how I was about to multi-syllabically tear this lady a new one, she immediately tossed that charge out. I'd love to tell you how the rest of the meeting went but I was too drunk off power and stumbled out of the room as I made my way to an orphanage where I denied Oliver and Annie their gruel while simultaneously making them pick their own switches. man im good.
